yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
