i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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