dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sext me about skeletons
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
