do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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