By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
