i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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