If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
