If that was your dad, he is hot
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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