We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize