mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Boobs are out for the taking
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why did my mother make you get naked?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
