i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
