covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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