i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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