Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
