well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
