Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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