I showed him my bush... on skype.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
