Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
