I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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