I swear god or herbie drove my car home
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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