You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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