He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
