Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
