just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize