I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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