You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My life is pants optional.
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