Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
