Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
