Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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