Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
