Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize