yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
