We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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