Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize