So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
