is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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