But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
