I want to have your abortion
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
