I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
