Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
