Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
