so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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