Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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