I'm gonna have a badass scar
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
only you would photoshop your dick
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I would fuck him just for his dog
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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