You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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