I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
