I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
