I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
