I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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