Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
