i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
