After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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