in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
