please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
