you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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