Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
