yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
