saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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