He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
