yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
