when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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