What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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