I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize