my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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