so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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