How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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