A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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