My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
