I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
