I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
