We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We need to get me chipped asap
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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