i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize