Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
