So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
