VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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