bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize