I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
