Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
